Now it's sod's law that if you have something important scheduled and you have children they will get ill on or before said event. Take the run up to the muklet launch for example. Every last second of nanny time and nap time had been mapped out. And then along comes Captain Fever paying a visit to the eldest muklet! These things also normally coincide with when you've escaped for a rare night of socialising and Prosecco!
So, 3am Sunday morning and still slightly pickled, I am awoken by my eldest screaming and hallucinating with a 40 degree fever. Two days later things have progressed to the point where I find him screaming in pain and pointing to the right side of his groin. A panicked call to 111 decides it's best to cart him off to A&E as it might be appendicitis.
Unless you've got kids it's probably hard to imagine just how difficult it can be to put two children in a car in a hurry. It reminds me of that puzzle where you have to get the fox, the chicken and the bag of corn across the river without one of them eating the other! Except it's trying to get buggy, nappies and general child survival kit into the car whilst a) ensuring children don't peg it down the road (littlest muklet made a dash for it and had to be apprehended by a passerby) and b) getting a child rigid and writhing in pain into a car seat with just a bit of help from a passing runner and by opening the car door with your foot.
Of course 15 minutes after checking in, the patient – who had previously been screaming the house down in pain – was now happily running around the waiting room, making Mommy look like an overdramatic psychotic momma bear! Daddy, who'd practically run from central London, was none too impressed!
This isn't the first – and probably won't be the last – time we’ll incur illnesses at inopportune times. My first big presentation at Barbour in front of about 100 delegates from around the world coincided with my eldest getting chicken pox. The same child got a splinter in his finger when I had a major work deadline. And no, we couldn't get it out and the doctor wouldn't take it out either – you have to go to A&E for a splinter! To be fair it took one week of prep, two nurses, bubbles, the iPad and me and my husband to get the buggering thing out, so yes it was necessary to bring in the professionals!
On the latest jaunt to hospital we were however the latest patients to be filmed for Channel 4's '24 Hours in A&E'. So if you see a frazzled momma betting her husband £5 she can get her obstinate son to pee in a pot in the show this autumn - that's me!